2/26/25 - I Cannot Get an Erection
The tale of playing Rust, and the Journey.
Part 1: The Awakening
I jolt up from a nightmare about Rust being deleted after my account was banned, I can only smell my own ass. The stench permeates my room like a thick blanket. I use the stench to fuel my hobble towards my PC.
Part 2: PC
As my PC boots, I rub one out while I'm perpetually soft, I can't nut. I take all of my clothes off, including my socks, then I put my shoes back on, including a beanie, this is my "Gamer fit". Rust is already on and loading my favorite server.
Part 3: Peace
My Rust server has been peaceful lately. I managed to defeat all of the enemy clans and secure the land for the naked's. I will send out my clan members to defend the base and the lands while I make a much needed journey.
Part 4: The Journey
As I prepare to embark, I almost forget to get dressed. I walk to Aldi's barefoot. I make it to the store after hitching a ride with a hung 43 year old looking for young boys in Upstate NY, he DIDN'T try to touch me this time. I walk into Aldi's with one thing on my mind, food. I DoorDash a big mac and fries to the Aldi for after I leave, I begin to shop. I find my Little Debbie Zebra Cakes that I am very fond of and a two-liter of diet coke because I'm healthy. I also grab a gallon of maple syrup to drink.
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